Well, my internet keeps going down, and that really pisses me off! You would think that Mr Branson would be able to keep the country folk of Norfolk connected to the internet. I mean, we don’t ask for a lot. Even a pigeon would suffice. You know, strap a message to its leg, away it goes. 2 days later, you get a print out of a Wikipedia page. Actually, this pigeon idea sounds a lot faster than my internet when it is working!
But you don’t realise how much of your life you spend on that cloud beyond your computer we call the internet. Seriously, it’s scary! Imagine a world without technology, and most of us would just be standing there with our fingers up our arses. I’m sure there are some people who already are!
Think about it. You see something funny happen, or something amazing – you can’t tweet anyone. You can’t update your Facebook status. The most you can do is tell the man next to you at the bus stop, who gives you a resounding, “fuck off.”
And say you want to go somewhere. All of a sudden you can’t use your Google maps or your sat-nav. Back in the day, they had something called a map. I know, not a clue either. Basically, it is a drawing of your surrounding area. A bit like what you see in Call Of Duty, but bigger, so you can’t see the car in front of you. And then you use this drawing to try and find where you’re going. What an insane idea.
And forget your Xbox and your Playstation, how about a wooden hoop and a stick? Conkers? I can see the blank expression on your face right now.
But that’s scary aint it. Our whole world revolves around technology. Little 1s and 0s shooting up and down wires control out whole lives. Without those 1s and 0s we wouldn’t be able to hear that Justin Bieber was attacked – and laugh. Or that One Direction is still making music – and cry.
Technology has consumed us, whether it is staring into the magic window in the lounge, or constantly typing away on our smartphones, it is everywhere.
You speak to an old person, and you will hear countless stories about all random things, and I reckon that when we get old, we didn’t have any of those experiences. Somehow, starting a story with, “This one time on Gran Turismo…” doesn’t quite cut it.
So I dare ya, call it a D Wulf challenge, to cut yourself off from technology for a day. Turn off the TV, turn off the smartphone, catch the horse to work, and experience real life.
"This one time I went outside, and the graphics were amazing. The gameplay was shit though."
And there we have it, another long-awaited dose of the D Wulf magic. And if you didn’t like it, well, what else would you have done with that 5 minutes of your life?
(probably hurled more abuse at Philip Schofield on Twitter)